Guest Blogger: Jess from Jessica Lorren Photography

posted on: Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Okay friends, try not to hate my life.
I feel guilty even asking that of you,
Because I'd have a hard time not hating me...
But I'm in Hawaii.

Never fear!
I have another fantastic guest blogger for you.

Jess is not only my wedding photographer
(and, if you must know, we also attended the same college)
She is one of my dearest friends.
Much of the lay-public only gets to experience her great wit in snippets of blurbs that she writes about her clients as she's blogging their wedding photos
But YOU get to get a glimpse of it here.

Without further ado, Jess.

I tried really hard to think of something not wedding photography related to grace Em's blog with.
But as a friend of mine often says, no dice.

Figuring I should stick to what I know best, I've decided I'm going to give you girls the low down on the down low:
How to kiss on camera.

I spend every Saturday with couples in love.
Not too shabby right?
Right.

And we all know couples in love like to lock lips.
But sadly, most couples aren't aware of what it takes to make the act of kissing look good. You may think you do but most of you kiss like horse fish.
That doesn't mean you lack passion, just form.
I am here to help.

So here we go kids, in a detailed step-by-step how-to:

Step 1: Make sure your bodies are facing each other.
Step 2: Make sure both of your beau's hands are on you. Pick a spot, any spot. Same goes for you.
Step 3: Close your eyes and bring your faces close together as if you were about to kiss, your heads should be slightly tilted.
Step 4: Are your eyes closed? They better be. Ok. Part your lips just barely. I'm talking just enough to breath in and out.
Step 5: Do not pucker. Just don't.
Step 6: Don't even think about curling your lips or bearing your teeth. (This is not a joke)
Step 7: Consciously review the list above and if all systems are go, then just hold it and count to at least five Mississippi. Ten is ideal but five should do it.
Step 8: Go for it. But for love of all that's holy, avoid items 5&6 as well as on-camera tongue.
Extra Credit: Kick up your heel, arch your back, pull him close and place your hand on his neck, cheek, booty. Whatev.
And whatever you do, try this at home...

I really wanted to do an instructional video or step-by-step photo tutorial but I ran out of time to shoot a demo.

So you will just have to settle with some illustrations from a couple seasoned pros.

Steps 1-3 Exhibit A:


Steps 4-7 Exhibit B:

Step 8 Exhibit C:

7 comments:

  1. hahaha this was totally brilliant. and totally 100% true.

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  2. note to self: do not look like a horse.

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  3. What great advice! I'll definitely be keeping this in mind when I get my photos done with my honey. I'll even make sure he reads this too so as not to be a flop! My goal is to shoot for hot...which those pictures completely are!

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  4. Such a fun and cute post to read! Thanks for the entertainment Jess!

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  5. Thank you for helping me not look like a horse fish on my big day. <3

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  6. Haha love this! I'm totally using these tips when I get married in less than two weeks!

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