you sure, Aibileen?
because i fo sho didn't feel smart last night
remember when i tweeted about watching Grey's Anatomy and calling it studying?
well, my friends, it most-assuredly is NOT.
as evidenced by my idiotic performance on night shift.
i had had the best sleep of my night shift life-span yet, too.
i was energized.
during teaching rounds, i got stupidly easy questions wrong
then in answer to a question about a toxidrome that causes loss of control of the ocular muscles,
i--remarkably--answered correctly, and blurted out "strychnine!"
and was so surprised when i was actually right that i told a retired Colonel: "shut your mouth!"
wish i were joking, ya'll.
that's a big military no-no.
it's also a big medicine no-no.
interns don't tell attendings to shut their mouths.
it was just a rough night.
feeling like an idiot. for the vast majority of it.
and it's been a rough few days.
we're not cooking so there's no good food.
i barely ever see Nick.
somehow, even though i'm barely eating and running around all shift, i'm getting fatter?
miiiight be the beers required to tranquilize me in the morning so i can get some shut-eye
i'm super dehydrated.
i have no time to drink water, and even less time to pee at work.
also, do you know what i look like when i'm at work?
neither do i. since not-peeing=not-seeing-yourself-in-a-mirror-ever
but i guarantee you it is nothing as good as this:
it's normal. i think.
but then, lo and behold, a patient needed to be intubated tonight
and, to put it bluntly, i rocked that shit.
it was my very first one.
in my medical career.
(most med students have at LEAST intubated somebody in an operating room on an anesthesia rotation or something.)
i was pretty shocked that i nailed it.
(so was everyone else, i'm pretty sure.)
30 minutes later
somebody ELSE needed intubating
and i rocked that shit too.
do i still feel dumb?
do i feel like a dumb rockstar?
am i drinking something alcoholic to try to take the edge off this adrenaline rush so i can sleep?
(i'll curse on this blog. but f-bombs? little harsh.)