headed home

posted on: Friday, December 23, 2011

I never used to be a crier.
Not sure what changed, really...
But now I find myself moved to tears over the littlest things.
just last night I was crying as I thought about leaving today

I went home to see my family in Florida
And now I'm waiting to board a plane back to Texas
So Nick and I can spend our very first Christmas together...alone
Make sense?
It's our first couple-Christmas without our families.

We're excited.
We have big plans.
Lots of fun food and relaxation to be had.
Our Christmas tree has had presents under it for weeks
(when it's just the two of us, there's no Santa rouse to keep up..)
I know. It's huge.

Yet, excited as I am to see my hubby,
I find myself getting all sentimental about my first ever Xmas without my family
Not just for myself
But also for my sibbies
They're used to my brother being gone for Christmas
But I've always been there.
Now he's home, and I'm gone
Must suck for them to always have part of their family missing.

But this is what's supposed to happen.
We grow up. We move on.
We start new families and have to leave our origins behind sometimes.
It's just part of it. Something my sibbies will understand more someday..
When they leave home and grow up too.

As for me, Nick and I have our own little family now.
Just us and our kitty.
We're starting our own Christmas traditions.
It's bittersweet.
Either way, I can't wait to see him.


And I'm guest-posting today on Megan's lil bloggie
So if you're joining me from there, welcome.
Hope you'll stay awhile.
I'm not always this mushy and sentimental.
There's usually a more-than-healthy dose of sarcasm as well.
These holidays, man! They're a-tuggin on my heart strings!
(doesn't that totally sound like something someone from Texas would say??!?)
(I'm learning.)

P.s. sorry for the total lack of image. I'm posting from the Houston airport. On my iPad. And my ish is giving me fits...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

baby talk

posted on: Wednesday, December 14, 2011


can i be real for a second?
ok good.

i'm not even sure where to begin.
this is a topic that's been rumbling around in my head for months
why today?

i think i followed just enough mommy bloggers to push me right over the edge
kidding. kind of.

once you've been married for more than five minutes,
people start asking you when you're going to be having babies.
this used to piss me off.
Nick and i got married in med school.
and were still busting our humps to get into residency to continue our training.
i got all offended that people would assume that,
after working SO hard
for SO long,
i would just put my career on hold to become june-effing-cleaver.

maybe i felt a little strongly about this.

now we're in residency.
working opposite schedules most of the time.
[example:  me: 3pm-11pm  him: 6am-6pm]
and while i don't necessarily mind my ease-into-it mornings
where i sleep in until 9 or 10am
then read blogs and study with a cup of coffee in hand
until it's time to go to work
this never-seeing-each-other tends to make marriage somewhat difficult.
(it especially makes baby-making difficult. but that is a discussion for another day.)

and yet people STILL badger me with the baby question.
it's actually a running joke amongst my fellow residents.
they think it's hilarious to ask me--daily--if i'm pregnant.
i get all offended and pissy and "are you calling me fat?!?"
fun game.

the truth of the matter is,
i would love to have a baby.

i said it.

just because i'm all sciencey and doctory and airforcey
doesn't mean that i don't have a maternal clock that ain't ticking.
but clocks aside, being a mom has always been something i've wanted.
it's a major part of the reason i CHOSE emergency medicine
because it is a specialty that will allow me flexibility in the future
so that i CAN have it all
a career i love
and a family i love.

just not right now.

and that's probably why i get so testy.
i hate it when i can't do something.
i'm a doer. a type A.
when i want shit to happen, i make it happen.
and no matter how much i try to tell myself that i'm CHOOSING
to wait until a better time to have a baby
it still feels like someone is telling me "you can't".
plus there's the fact that it seems everyone around me is having babies.
fellow residents, even.
and pinterest is no help at ALL.
i feel like i'm getting left behind.
like everyone's lives are moving forward,
while i'm still stuck just pursuing my dreams.
as if that were something small...pursuing your dreams.

so please forgive me for my snarky comments about babies and bloggers.
it's really coming from a place of sadness deep within me.
and i'm just now becoming enough of a grown-up to call it what it is.
and thank you, dear blogosphere, 
for being a place where people talk about this stuff.

that's all.

favorite things #8

posted on: Tuesday, December 13, 2011

i need me some rain boots.
i've had my eye on some hunters for a loooong time.
(is it weird that the chick in the hunter ad is dancing in rainboots
on a day that is rather decidedly sunny?)

can't decide on a color though.

red is always a lovely choice.

but then again,
the hipster in me loves these devil-may-care classics
or maybe these Jcrew exclusives?
i DO love me some shearling.
and waterproof?
bring on the snow, Colorado. i'll see you in February.
(p.s. we're going snowboarding in February. did i forget to tell you?)
damn you, Jcrew.
you've got me again.

today i'm having a thrilling day of reading ER textbooks
and going to the dermatologist.
any and all commentary you might have on
these footwear options
would be a much-welcomed distraction.

favorite things #7

posted on: Tuesday, December 6, 2011

happy monday!
this is a picture of me and my huz
both awake and vertical.
glad i took it.
since the next time we'll be this way won't be until Friday
self portraits are the shizzle.
side note:
those of you who have friends/husbands who like to take pictures...
the alternative is the ever-popular iPhone self-portrait.

and in case you were wondering:
on me- dress:Zara, jacket:TJ Maxx, boots:Frye, leg warmers:F21, tights:can't remember
scarf:found in a lecture hall
on him- pants:BR, shirt:Express, sweater:Jcrew

our schedules aren't terrible right now
they're just totally opposite.
which pretty much translates as terrible, in my book.
ilovemyjob ilovemyjob ilovemyjob

here's what's next on my list of favorite things:
i love them both.
i can't decide.
i haven't worn a watch in years.
always said that i had a cell phone...didn't need one.
but if i had one of these babies,
i just might make an exception.
you have no idea just how many applications there are for a watch in medicine
taking pulses...
timing pauses in heart rates...
coaching a patient through vagal maneuvers to break supraventricular tachycardia...
the list is endless, really.

which one would you pick?

favorite things #6

sista needs some tech accessories.
my new iPad has a pretty green smart cover
but she needs more protection.
something classy.

that'll do Pig, that'll do.
this one is deeeevine.
and very "dear"
as my friend Stephen would say.

i also need an iPhone case.
my pretty Kate Spade one from last year busted.

in case i'm feeling cheeky.

i neeeeed one.

favorite things: 3, 4, & 5

posted on: Monday, December 5, 2011

what i'm loving today...
this dress.
so sexy, yet demure.
and the red lip?
stop it right now.

chambray with sequins.
and those red mary janes.
perfect way to make sequins more chic, and less disco.
see if i don't try this with my blue sequined mini...
just you watch.

of all sizes.
and again with the red lip.

all of these images are brought to you by the one and only J.Crew
(really, it's Jenna Lyons. who wore J.Crew except preps and ivy-leaguers...which might be the same thing...before J.L. came along? no one. that's who. now every girl wants to be that girl with the slightly confused expression on her perfectly made-up face on the cover of the catalog.)

you know the one.

love her.

things money can't buy

posted on: Friday, December 2, 2011

it's been a blur of a day
i got home from work at midnight
but was too wired from all the coffee to fall asleep
finally passed out (with the aid of a white russian) at 1:15
had to be up at 7 to make it to Grand Rounds
(mandatory Friday lecture series)
then went to the grocery store on my way home
so i could still feel like a good little housewife
and put some food on the table for my husband for pete's sake
thanks to the beauty that is the crockpot
i can do that
even though i'm headed out the door to go BACK to work again right now

we're working opposite schedules right now
i'm asleep when he leaves for work at 6am
he's asleep when i get home from work at 12am
and repeat.
it's a vicious cycle.

but today,
my favorite thing
is the Post-it.
which allows us to keep in touch
yes, we both have iPhones
but it's so much more intimate to come home
and find that little yellow square full of love
waiting for you on the kitchen counter

oh, and he leaves the Christmas lights on for me when I get home too.

this Christmas season
has thus far been defined by our post-it love-notes.
and i'm totally okay with that.

new day

posted on: Thursday, December 1, 2011

"Marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?"
-Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

yesterday was just awful.
i'm one of those people for whom things tend to snowball
one thing goes wrong...
and then another...
and another..
you get the idea.
not the greatest quality for a doctor to have, let me tell you
i should work on being more resilient.
some days i am.
"unflappable" is the word one of my evaluators used.
but not yesterday.

it all culminated in me writing a very gripy blog post
that my iPad then promptly ate up
it just disappeared.
so i threw in the towel and hit the sack.

probably best that way.
i'll spare you the gory details.
let's just say i thanked God in heaven above for this pinterest gem

on to today!

it's December 1st.

(as in, last year, i did this. that's the extent of the tradition. don't judge.)
December is the month where i count down to Christmas day
with a list of my favorite things.
sort of a long, drawn-out Christmas wish list
favorite things about Christmastime

it's fun for me.
fun for you.
and gives my loved ones brilliant ideas of what to get me.

without further ado.
favorite thing #1
Sonos Play:5
it's not just a speaker.
it's a whole wireless system that you can control
from your iPhone or iPad
and access iTunes, Spotify, Pandora, iHeartRadio, whatever from
it would basically be a dream come true.
we've been lacking a speaker system
or really ANY means other than a laptop
for playing music.
this would be the ultimate hi-tech solution.
i'm crossing my fingers that Santa pulls through...

happy December!
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