but if you ever find yourself in my parents' home,
they'll consider it a private residence
and open fire.
i kid. but seriously.
my dad is passionate about politics.
and we have differing views.
this time of year, every four years,
segue: day #3, a song that reminds you of one of your parents
i have a distinct memory of riding in the car with my dad...
and, as i told you before, we were a strictly-Christian-Contemporary-Music family
but this song came on the air
and my dad started singing every. single. word.
this was the moment i knew my dad was the coolest.
and it stuck with me all the way up till my wedding
and ill-fitting though it may seem,
this was the song my father and i danced to at my reception
it's a long-ass song.
so after 2 minutes or so, everybody joined in.
without broadcasting my political views on the blog
(which, admittedly, are poorly thought out
and primarily based on knee-jerk reactions
and personal experience. i've been a little...busy...for the past few years.)
let's just say that i'm an advocate for the 47%
they are the reason i get up and go to work in the morning.
it is my honor and privilege to serve these people
who have nowhere else to go.
some may call them "freeloaders"?
pretty sure the words Jesus used were "the least of these".
but i digress.
they still find themselves in ridiculous situations.
rich and poor alike. insured and uninsured.
everyone has predicaments.
and i'm here to document them.
devoid of any and all identifying information, of course.
so without further ado:
patient: "i feel like a baby is sitting on my chest"
me: "a baby?"
patient: yeah. i know people usually say it's an elephant. but for me it's a baby.
me: do you have any medical problems?
me: then what are these 12 medications you're taking for?
patient: well i USED to have high blood pressure and high cholesterol and diabetes. but now i take all those medicines. so i don't have those problems anymore.
pregnant patient: is it true that if you do this [patient is standing. bends knees and gyrates hips as if using a hula hoop] then yo baby cord be wrapped around its neck?
me: so tell me what brings you here today?
patient: this is the worst day of my life. i was just driving along and some dude sideswiped me and now i'm here.
me: the chart says the police brought you here...because you were driving drunk? and you wrecked your car?
patient: well, yeah.
me: tell me what happened?
5 year old patient: i got hit in the face with a soccer ball during my soccer game. then i got a headache. then i threw up.
me: i'm sorry you didn't feel good. why do you think you threw up?
5 year old patient with frowny face: i think i ate too many sweets.
God Bless America, friends.
and God bless us, everyone.