once again, you fail to live up to my lofty expectations.
don't get me wrong.
i felt loved.
and i felt tremendous love for others.
but the day itself was just sort of....eh.
first of all, my super cute V-day outfit
was Air Force fatigues and a low tight bun in my hair.
so hot right now.
then i spent my entire. day. at the hospital.
the first 8 in mind-numbing lectures and board review
the last 5 on shift in the ER
and to top it all off, someone died.
happy love day.
i got home to a sickly feeling husband
who was desperately fighting off a stomach virus
so i cooked up some pasta
and ate most of it myself. [fatty]
then we watched a dvr'd Top Chef
and went to sleep.
if you follow me on Instagram,
and you saw my post from this morning about all the fantastic LOOT i got
then right about now, you're probably thinking to yourself
this girl is ridiculous. get over it. people obviously love you.
and you would be exactly right.
but here's WHY i am the way that i am.
thanks to the ever-popular, super-quick Meyers-Briggs online personality test
i now have explanations for all my quirks.
reading the description of my ESFJ personality
was like looking through a window into the depths of my soul.
and i'm willing to admit that sounded slightly over-dramatic.
but it's true.
"Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes."
YES. THIS. no wonder i get all bajiggity around the holidays
and get super disappointed when they don't turn out picture perfect
the way they were in my head.
i am a GUARDIAN of the holidays.
this sounds so much more intense and purposeful than
"she gets bummed out when things don't go her way"
it's in my personality.
makes so much sense now.
"All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest...They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others."
this is a nice way of saying, You're super bossy, Emily.
but you can't help it. it's your personality.
no news there. i totally knew that already.
and work hard play hard? yes. i can totally jive with that.
"As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education"
when Nick read this part, he was all, but you're not a germaphobe!
which is true. i'm not. if food falls on the floor, i totally 5-second-rule that ish.
but i am incredibly hypervigilant.
when i was learning to snowboard (let's be honest. i'm STILL learning to snowboard.),
i would stand at the top of the mountain
and just visualize myself running into a tree,
with blood and body parts strewn down the hill.
i'm sort of a worst-case-scenario person.
which honestly makes me a really good ER doctor
"what could kill you right now? heart attack? aortic dissection? pulmonary embolism?
let's rule that out first, shall we?"
all this to say, i've really enjoyed reading about my personality.
it has shed so much light on how i've dealt with so many things in life
from friendships, to relationships, to my career.
it's like someone is giving me a hug and saying
you couldn't help reacting that way. it's the way you are.
so much of the time i felt like something was wrong with me
because i didn't react the way my friends did.
or make the same choices as everyone else.
i have an explanation for all of that now.
it's funny how much of a relief that is.
i used to just think i was weird.
now i know i'm just...me.