it is finished

posted on: Friday, October 28, 2011

my board exams are over.
well...for now.
until i finish residency and have to take my Emergency Medicine boards
and then my oral boards
and then recertification boards a few years after that...

really, it never ends. 

i'm feeling a little ambivalent about it.

on the one hand,
i'm glad they're done.
now i can actually read for fun.

but on the other,
now i have to start working days in the CCU
which, honestly, is the worst working environment imaginable.
i'll spare you for now,
because i'm sure i'll be bitching and moaning about it all month.

so even though this song actually has nothing to do with these sentiments,
the title does.


plus it's a beautiful song
by an incredibly talented pair of brothers
and though i am about 7 years late 
jumping on the bandwagon...

it fits.

miss me?

posted on: Thursday, October 27, 2011

me too.
yes.
i miss myself.

i haven't seen much of me lately.
here's what's been up:

last Thursday i kicked that PT test's ass
(at 6am. in 50 degree weather. i was running. fml.)
upside is, i scored high enough that i don't have to take another one for another year.
bonus.
(i highlight this point because though, yes, i am in the Air Force, 
athletic achievements have never been my strong suite. 
maybe you picture me as an ultra-fit ass-kicker by trade.
not so, friends. 
SO not so.) 

there was a hot minute last week where i thought about jumping on a plane to Baltimore
to welcome my brother home from Afghanistan
but that didn't work out.
more on that later.

i started a CCU rotation on Friday. 
and worked 7pm-7am for 5 days in a row.
sleeping during the day leaves little time for anything else
especially blogging.
especially when you're cramming to take Step 3 of your board exams.
on Friday.
yeah, tomorrow.
it's only a 9 hour test that i HAVE to pass in order to get a medical license.
nbd.

oh yeah,
and my inlaws are coming into town tonight.
so i cleaned the house from top to bottom.
some days, being a working housewife really blows.
(not to rag on the hubby.
he did good this week...you'll see.)

like i said.
i've been busy.

but there've been plenty of delightful things happening this week as well...

i'd like to take a quick moment to give props to all of you
for sharing your hearts with me
in response to last week's post.
you have no idea how much community i felt
and what a blessing it was to know that i'm not alone in feeling this way.
i'm currently composing a whole post about it
but i keep getting choked up as i write it
so be patient...it's coming.
but until then, thank you. 
from the bottom of my heart.

things that made me happy:

this guy coming home.
HUGE relief.
wish i'd gotten to squeeze his cute little face before he jetted back to Okinawa for a bit
it's okay though.
he'll be back.
and he's no longer fighting a war.
whew.

okay one more. what can i say?.. he makes me proud. 
i crafted a bit...
old pallet + travel prints
 yes, that is a vacuum cord in the background.
i told you i cleaned.
sheesh.
close up. happy memories. (:
 i indulged in a little online shopping
and purchased this side table
from West Elm. (psss. it's on sale this week.)
 then...
hubs totally redeemed himself
(for the whole making-me-clean-up-for-his-parents-coming-to-town)
and surprised me with this:
me. happy. sans makeup. try not to be afraid.
i woke up on Sunday afternoon
opened the bedroom door
and there it was
waiting for me.
my very own iPazzle

so this week hasn't been a total loss.
(:

p.s. if any of you have tips on how to best view your Google reader on the iPad,
dish 'em.
i'm struggling here.
sincerely,
a new, mildly frustrated iPad user.

sad day

posted on: Wednesday, October 19, 2011


i've been listening to this song again this morning
(when i wallow...i REALLY wallow)
it's pretty perfectly describing my sentiments

i had a friendship that ended a few months ago.
there wasn't a big, thunderclap of an event that brought about its demise
it just sort of ceased to be
and it was such a close, intimate friendship
that i feel its absence every day
every.
day.
this is how breakups are.
whether we are losing lovers, or losing friends.


try as i might to get over it
our ever-increasingly connected world is making it impossible.
every time i open my computer
(okay, let's be honest. every time i open FACEBOOK. which is daily. multiple times.)
i get a reminder of how i'm not part of that person's life anymore

it hurts.
deeply.
still.

and it all just makes me wish that i wasn't such an elephant
incapable of forgetting
and moving on

shouldn't people just cease to be when we fall out of relationship with them?
wouldn't that make it so much easier to continue living?
without them there, as constant reminders of how good things used to be?
(i'm not wishing death upon anyone. just to clarify.)


to top it all off,
here's a totally unrelated image

sorry i'm such a downer today.
surely i'm not the only one that's gone through this...
thoughts?

eating your way through

posted on: Monday, October 17, 2011

this is pretty much my life's mantra.
but it's also what i did this weekend.
friday night
(after Nick scraped me off the couch, post-mild-nervous-breakdown)
was date night

we managed to find Jamaican food in San Antonio.
(cue applause.)
i did not, however, document it on film.

we watched Friday Night Lights when we got home.
(nothing says Texas like watching FNL on a Friday night)
(except maybe watching an actual high school football game on a Friday night)

Saturday,
we went here:

and i ate this:
don't worry.
there's two more sides under the green beans and the mac and cheese
i didn't starve.
i also only drank one of those beers.

this is possibly the classiest thing about Texas:
we call it what it is:
Fresh Killed Meat

and i've officially lost all vegan followers.

it was bound to happen eventually.

these next few weeks are a bit hectic:
Physical Fitness Test tomorrow (thanks, Air Force. lookin forward to it.)
start nights in the Cardiac Care Unit on Friday
inlaws are coming to visit next Thursday
take Step 3 of my boards next Friday

so please don't be offended that instagram pics (mostly of food) are the best i can do these days.


steal my heart away

posted on: Friday, October 14, 2011


maybe you've seen this.
maybe you're not as emotionally unstable as i am at the moment
(we had a trauma conference and talked about that kid that died a couple weeks ago.
i'm kind of a wreck today.
at least i *think* that's why i'm a wreck...)
but i fell apart from the cuteness.
and in case you haven't seen it, you should.

enjoy.

Scenes from the Weekend

posted on: Tuesday, October 11, 2011

we had company this weekend.
huge trees make for excellent photo backdrops.

a better descriptor there never was.

i promise nick is not drunk. yet. just really really over taking pictures. clearly.


remember the Alamo.

just buds. hanging out.

guess which girl belongs to which guy?

the patriotism embodied in this photo is astounding.

scenes from an italian restaurant.

our lovers.

sometimes in texas, there is a longhorn on the corner.

he tried to push me in.

a heavenly mound of guacamole

no words.

alamo, you've been instagrammed.
 i've been dinged for my historical inaccuracy before
the above photo is not *technically* of the Alamo
but of a mission
in the whole, Alamo-complex.
whatever.
mimosas are a fantastic way to begin a day.
like i how all the photos are totally out of order?
you might not have noticed that,
except that the mimosas came after the margaritas.
which is clearly breaking all the rules.

anyway.
friends came to visit.
and we immensely enjoyed them.
without out-of-town guests, how would one ever see the sights of one's town?
(this was our first trip to the alamo.)

susanna and kenny and mike and elisabeth...
...we miss you already

our song

posted on: Wednesday, October 5, 2011

us, with my double chin, dancing at our wedding reception
i don't think i've written a whole lot about our wedding on this blog
this blog BEGAN as i was planning it
but i think i skimmed over the actual event
probably time to rectify that
but today is not that day

however, i will say this
we had the incredible blessing of having 3 weddings
two in italy
and one reception 6 weeks later in California
the photo above is of us dancing at the Mexican fiesta that was our stateside reception
(hey, we like Mexican food. what can i say?)

at the reception,
we played this song that had sort of become "our song"
and what happened next pretty much sealed the deal forever...
all our family and friends gathered around us making a circle and put their arms over each other's shoulders and rocked and swayed to the music, singing to us

it was incredible.
i cried the happiest tears.

especially because i got to wear my wedding dress again.
me. uber-excited to wear my dress again. let's be honest...it almost didn't fit. 6 weeks, y'all. 6 measly weeks.

anyway.
we've been having a rough week.
both of us fully embodying our specialties' personalities:
me- flexible, intense, push-it-to-the-limit, ready-for-anything Emergency Medicine
him- calculated, regimented, stick-with-a-routine, do-what's-best-for-your-body Rehab Medicine
trying to figure out how to make this marriage work
when we're both exhausted
with crazy and conflicting schedules
(ONE of us is always willing to sacrifice on sleep to get some quality time. I'm not saying who. but ONE of us...)
lying awake at night replaying the patients of the day
(did i miss an aneurysm? did that guy live? did i write for the right dose of that medication?)
these are the parts they don't tell you about on Grey's Anatomy
they totally make it look like the docs are only thinking about their patients at work
and when they go home, they only obsess about their convoluted personal lives
(unless they're sleeping with their patients. then they think about them.)

so i figured it'd do us some good to hear our song
what does it say about us that Kenny Loggins sings "our song"?
i don't know.
but before you mock me
let us recall that he is the man responsible for this gem:

 

dream come true

posted on: Monday, October 3, 2011

i know every girl thinks her husband is the best
but mine really is.
he's a 49ers fan
and he voluntarily subjected himself to a Cowboys game.
for me.
not only that, but he got me REALLY great seats

the weekend in iPhone pics
pregame coffee

gameday eggs benedict.
 i'm a sucker for some hollandaise sauce
hubby's huevos. (HA!)
but i also really love me some huevos rancheros.
so that's when i get to steal some of nick's breakfast too
best all around. 
apparently all i do is eat
holy footlongness 
yes. i am wearing a jersey. 

dolly parton's niece was at the game
kidding.
maybe.
it COULD've been dolly parton's niece.
or maybe just someone who also goes to her hairstylist.
welcome to Texas, ya'll 
and welcome to cowboys stadium

tony romo. Lions MVP.
no zoom required.
we were 9 rows from the field.
hubby loves me.

the game was a bit of a heartbreaker.
we came out strong
then fell apart and lost.
this is the life of a Cowboys fan.
it is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that i will never fully tell you about.

in other news, i'm working evenings this week
grueling slave labor this ultrasound rotation is turning out to be.
not true.
i basically go into the emergency department and throw an ultrasound probe on people
i look at their hearts, gallbladders, kidneys, livers, aortas
and sometime uteruses with babies in them
i shoot for about 20 scans a day
(sometimes i do like, 5 scans on a person at a time. i'm a multitasker)
then i go home.
easy peasy.

so i get my mornings to blog and drink coffee on my balcony
this morning, it's actually CHILLY.
like, i might need to go put on some socks.




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