posted on: Friday, June 22, 2012

i'm not incredibly original
when it comes to fashion.
i tend to see something i like
(usually on pinterest. let's be real.)
and then recreate it for myself.

though they say...
originality is just undetected plagiarism

consider my cover blown.

via pinterest

i'll let these fantastic images speak for themselves.

nothing like a fluffy, fashion-based post
to follow up my death post from earlier this week.
i try to keep you all on your toes.

i have been crushing hard on the nerd glasses trend

one problem:
this girl has 20/13 vision.
the Air Force was basically salivating when they picked me up.
(no i will not fly your planes, Air Force. let it go.)
and how lame is it to wear fake glasses?

pretty lame, honestly.

but they're just so awesome!
i can't help myself.

glasses: F21 ($5!)
shirt: F21
neon bra: Gap Body (HIGHLY recommend)
jeans: 7FAM
shoes: nine west
nail polish: essie's Tart Deco (my current fave)


posted on: Wednesday, June 20, 2012

despite my lighter schedule of late, life seems to be moving way too quickly. 
i find myself wishing i took more time to reflect
 and dwell on the magnitude of everything that's been happening. 
it's my nature to multitask, which serves me well in my job 
(i wouldn't be a very good ER doctor if i were only able to handle one patient at a time). 
but at times, i fill my life with so many things just because i can
and it sort of makes me sick. 

i will literally sit on the couch, 
watch tv, 
read blogs on my laptop, 
and be intermittently playing words with friends on my iPhone. 

or i'll go to the gym, 
get on the elliptical machine, 
listen to music, 
and simultaneously read the subtitles on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. 

i fill my head to capacity during every minute of every day. 
usually with stupid, meaningless stuff. 
and if i'm honest, i kind of enjoy it. and this is me. 
it's not going away any time soon. 
but sometimes i have to force myself to just sit. and think. and listen. 

this blog has been cathartic for me in that respect. 
it has created for me a platform upon which i can cast my thoughts and ideas. 
a few times a week, i sit down 
and share my life with the world: 
pictures, recipes, experiences, joys, occasionally sorrows. 
doing this forces me to be introspective. 

it's not that hard for me to soul-search. 
it's just hard for me to make myself make the time to do so. 

some bloggers do so this so well.  
E is one of my favorites: 
she's fantastically introspective, 
and has a gift for turning her self-reflections into writing 
that is so accessible and poignant. 
i always leave her blog with a renewed vigor
 for delving into the recesses of my own psyche. 
this is a confession that would probably make her blush; 
her words are so beautifully simple and unpretentious, 
just like she is. 
but i can't help confessing it. 

i lack her talent for delivering words with such graceful ease, 
but there is an experience i've been wanting to share i hope you'll bear with me. 

last week i had the opportunity to attend a family meeting
...with my own family. 
my grandparents' health has begun to deteriorate a bit, 
and everyone felt it might be time to discuss updating their living will. 
i've been a part of several family meetings like this for patients of mine, 
so it's a role with which i'm not unfamiliar. 
but i still feel a little weird telling people about it: 
"i talked to my grandparents about code status and living wills and end-of-life stuff" 
it's usually a chat that people have with their doctors
...not their grandchildren. 

but if i'm really really honest about it, 
i would have to say that it was a huge honor. 
to be able to use my skills and my expertise in a way 
that truly benefitted my loved ones was an experience that i treasure.

usually my family calls me for other reasons: 
how do i pull this tooth? (my sister, when she was 7) 
my butt itches...what could it mean? (my brother, unfortunately not that long ago) 
do you think this cut needs stitches? (sent via photo text by a friend) 
...and i'm typically very obliging, offering medical advice as my skill level allows. 

but this was different. 

seeing my grandmother's face as she looked at me so intently, 
hanging on every word 
as i explained what really happens during CPR, 
how it affects you, 
success rates; 
trying to do so in a way that was more practical than clinical. 
real talk, if you will. 
feeling goosebumps and tears welling up in my eyes 
and almost a sense of pride 
as she bravely told me she didn't want any of that. 

oh to be able to have that kind of satisfaction with your life. 
to know that you've lived fully and completely. 
to be willing to let go with quiet dignity with the time comes, 
instead of clinging desperately to life. 
knowing that you would rather 
walk confidently into eternity than to remain here, 
a mere shadow of who and what you once were. 
she talked about her faith, 
and how terrifying this stage of life must be for those who have none. 

i was proud of her. and proud to have come from her. 

the implications of this conversation have struck me several times this past week, 
knowing that it means i'll be losing them. 
sometime soon. 
i'm not ready to talk about all that yet. 
and it's not time to. 
but it was an afternoon i'll never forget. 
and i'm thankful for this space, that allows me to share it. 

shades of blue

posted on: Friday, June 15, 2012

i actually accomplished something.
i set out to do it this month
but figured my plans would be thwarted for sure by this pup that has taken up residence in our once quiet, humble abode. 
but i made this ish happen.
and for that, i am happy.

i took no before pictures.
it was simply too heinous.
the curtain is hiding an electrical box.
clever, eh?

the kitty lives in the laundry room.
so does the laundry.

a photo i took in Folegandros, Greece
during our trip last summer

view from the living room
into the hallway
i'm loving the pop of blue i get every time i come around the corner
oh hey, aunt jemima
me, rather proud of myself.
no makeup. bandana-style. sheesh. 

the blue may or may not match this shirt...

secret: i only painted one wall.
there were too many freaking things in that laundry room to paint around
that wall is the only one you can see anyway.

you like?
i like. 

apple pie

posted on: Thursday, June 14, 2012

last night i made an apple pie
my grandparents were in town last minute
and they came over for dessert.

apple pie is kinda my thing.
in college, i used this pie as currency.
i didn't have a washer/dryer back then,
but the 6 guys that lived down the block from me did!
i would exchange pies for laundry.
i'd do my laundry while the pie baked at their house.
no pie experience is complete without the smell of it baking included.

it never fails me.
so here's the recipe!

first you need a pie crust.
sometimes i use the pre-made, frozen kind.
it works fine.
but last night i went all out and made pie crust.
two batches.
since the first one was complete crap and wouldn't roll out.
c'est la vie.
here's the pie crust recipe:
3c. flour
1/2tsp salt
1 1/4c. shortening
1 egg, beaten
6Tbsp ice cold water
1tsp vinegar (i use apple cider vinegar. obvi.)

Mix the flour and salt together, then cut in the shortening (it tastes better if you use butter instead of Crisco) using a pastry blender (shown below). Stir together the egg, water, and vinegar. Add the liquids to the flour mixture. Mix the dough together with your hands until the dough just sticks together. (don't over mix, or the crust will get too gluey. you're going for flaky here.) Roll out the dough using a lot of flour, then place the crust in a 9" pie pan that you've dusted with flour. Turn the edges under and use your fingers or a fork or whatever to make the edge pretty.

You can use this crust for any pie. It's supposed to make two pie crusts, but I can never get enough of the dough to mix together to make two crusts without seriously over-kneading it. Maybe you'll have better luck than me.

carnations making a comeback.
now for the pie.

Apple Crumb Pie
4-5 medium apples (i've used Gala, Granny Smith, Honeycrisp...something sweet-tart will be fine)
1 9" pie crust
1tsp cinnamon
1/2c sugar

Peel and slice the apples. (usually i don't peel fruits and veggies. all my mashed potatoes are peels-on. i never peel cucumbers. but trust me. you should peel these apples.) Arrange the apples however you want in the pie crust. If they're heaping up into a giant mound, that's okay. It'll make the crumb topping a little tricky to put on, but the apples will bake down and be just as delicious. Then sprinkle the apples with a mixture of the cinnamon and sugar.

Crumb Topping:
1/2c sugar
3/4c flour
1/3c butter

Cut the butter into the sugar & flour using a pastry blender. It should look sorta crumbly. (hence the name) Then sprinkle the crumb topping over the apples, being sure to cover most of the apples (the crumb topping will stay where you put be sure you get good coverage).

Bake at 450-degrees for 10 minutes (to brown the crumb topping a little), then reduce the oven temp to 325-degrees and bake for 30-40 minutes until golden brown and bubbly.

crumb topping. before it's mixed.

what the crumb topping should look like post-mixing.

how bout them apples?

my pie. before the crumb topping went on.
 sometimes, if i have scraps of pie crust dough left,
i'll roll it out and sprinkle it with cinnamon and sugar
then bake it for 5 minutes or so
to have a snack.

crust scraps. delicious.
 this is the part where i feel the need to point out what a terrible blogger i am.
since i failed to take a photo of my fully assemble pie
either before baking it,
or after it was done.

but clearly it was good.

this pie pan is ginormous.
so i fed 6 people off half of a pie.
and now there is some left for ME.

and be warned.
this pie will take you places.
mark my words.

dog days

posted on: Friday, June 8, 2012

Lord have mercy i am so tired.
this puppy is exhausting.
you all know how it is...
waking up all night to take him out to pee
watching him every second of every day to make sure he's not destroying things
cleaning dog poo and pee out of the carpet
and through it all...
loving his sweet sweet face

on top of all that,
i made a video for our residency's graduation tonight
(roasting our staff docs and seniors. i hope i don't get fired.)
finished my protocol application for my research project
(fingers crossed that i get published in a big fancy medical journal)
(okay, it was really just a rough draft)
worked on my Process Improvement project
(a residency requirement)
logged 13 intubations and 5 procedural sedations
and painted my nails.

it's been a busy, full, exhausting week
and i'm thankful for the 3-day weekend i have to recuperate.
in which i will be doing precisely NONE of the aforementioned projects i told you about.

so there.

new addition

posted on: Monday, June 4, 2012

our family grew over the weekend.
people said they knew i had been getting fat...
they just didn't know why.

this is why.

we got a pup!

we have been talking about getting a dog for months
waited for the perfect time
then finally decided there was NO perfect time.
so on Saturday, we went to the Humane Society
just to "look"

you can see how well that turned out.

his name is Waylon.
after Waylon Jennings
who sings this song
Luckenback, Texas (Back To The by Waylon Jennings on Grooveshark

note: if you've been obsessed with Hatfields and McCoys like we have,
you'll especially appreciate this song for its reference thereof.

he's a shepherd mix.
maybe with lab or something?
we'll probably be "those" people
who get their mutt DNA-tested
just so we can say
"he's 1/18th Rhodesian Ridgeback"

sleepy babe.
we felt he needed a good cowboy name
seeing as how he was birthed in Texas and all
our cat, Ella, is both named after the El in Chicago, 
and Bartonella henselae, which, incidentally, 
is the bacteria that causes cat-scratch fever.
(it came to me in a moment of genius while i was taking my boards.)
i'm a huge nerd.
i'm aware.

we kicked around several names
and finally i gave Nick naming rights
since i had named Ella.
he initially picked Bowie.
after Jim Bowie (of Bowie knife and Battle of the Alamo fame)
he said to me,
"can't you just see a little kid saying that name?
i want a name our kids can say."

well say no more, my friend.
i was sold.
his presentation was flawless.
be still my freaking heart.

but then Nick changed his mind.
so Waylon it is.

my new favorite accessory.

Ella is less than thrilled.
she's giving him these creepy come-here-my-precious looks.

but we like him.

so far, i'm exhausted
from getting up every two hours to let the pup go pee
and he's got separation anxiety like woah
can't even take a shower without him howling
and he's sitting there watching me.

i feel for all you new mamas out there.
i don't know how you do it.
but then again, at the end of all your struggle,
you get a fine human being.
i just get a smelly dog.

you win.

june bug

posted on: Saturday, June 2, 2012

i've caught it. for sure.
June, i've been waiting for you all year.

i'm on anesthesia this month.
which means that, from Monday-Thursday,
i get to perform procedures all day every day
and learn the ins and outs of all the vasoactive anesthetics we use

and i get a three-day weekend
every. weekend.

oh, and a week of vacay at the end.

do you know what it will be like to have three days off?
in a row?
i get two consecutive days off maybe once a month.
but THREE?? every weekend??
i just don't know what to do with myself.
i'm so excited at the prospect, i'm jumping up and down inside.

i have many projects in mind
(thanks, pinterest)

finally hanging my gallery wall in my stairwell...

painting my laundry room a deep, Grecian shade of blue...

painting our dresser...

continue the hunt for an upholstered headboard...
(i decided i'd wait for a sale, instead of trying to DIY-it. it'd only be a little more expensive,
and it would save me ridiculous amounts of time.)

finally make it to my family reunion again...
(we've been going to the same park in Wheeling, WV for like, 50 years now.
i've missed it for the past 5 years because of med school and residency.
this year i get to go! cousins! sibbies! drunken family members! yes!)

relax in Palm Beach...
(can't think of a better place to chill out for a few days.
somehow i took it for granted when i was going to school there
now going back is all i wanna do.)

i can see my alma mater from here...

June is going to be a good month.
i can just feel it.

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